Sunday, May 25, 2008

Life, the Universe, and Shit

Life is fun, especially when you're stuck in limbo. I have one and a half years - three semesters - to go before I graduate. I'll have a theatre degree, which means that I'll probably end up working some low-end retail jobs, selling cappuccinos to unhappy office workers. My family is a mess, everybody for themselves and nobody together. Dad works, and leaves early just, I think, to get away and have his peace. Mom hates working in the restaurant, but can't get away because it's impossible to find anyone who will stand all the training you need to work in a kitchen. Plus, bad hours and only decent pay to work in a hectic, non-air conditioned environment on nights and weekends and all holidays. Brother sticks to himself and immerses himself in computer games. Sister is a bitch, who riles everyone up just by being home. Screaming matches with mom, and everyone else gets upset because of the pervasive ugly mood.

I don't know what I'll do. Right now I just want to finish school and be done with it, and then find my own life. I want to help Sparky, which is difficult when I'm so far away. I've looked up various immigration requirements to Canada(and why not? It seems a nice place to live.) Unfortunately, it looks like I wouldn't make the "skilled workers" requirements unless I work for several years after graduation. Family immigration laws are just as odd; it also covers spousal and other relationship requirements. Sparky, please don't freak out that I've looked over those. *slight smile* I've even considered possibly going back to Germany for a bit, to visit family and maybe see what the theater environment is like over there. Basically, what it amounts to is that I have no idea what will happen after I graduate. All I know is that I pretty much need a huge cushion of savings if I want to do anything at all. Money makes the world go 'round. Who'd have thought? Hahahahaha. Too bad I have pretty much none, and no decent prospects either. But it helps to keep my mind off the fact that I'm basically fucked. If I don't think about it, it will all go away and fix itself, right? Right.


Sparky said...


I can't find a one bedroom, let alone a 2. And Sorrelle will not give up her spot on the end of my bed that easily.

Onii said...

Haha, yeah. Finishing my degree comes first anyways... and that's still three semesters off. Maybe things will change by then. The future is full of possibilities.