Friday, May 30, 2008

South Texas Ramblings

So on Tuesday was game night... or wasn't, more properly said. We haven't gamed since I've gotten back, but at least we started making RIFTS characters for Orren's campaign. Knowing him, he'll get bored of it in a few weeks. But that's alright. I'm going to be playing an Operator, which is pretty much that game's equivalent of a mechanic. ...I like playing mechanics in RIFTS, they're easy. Plus, it's fun to play someone relatively "normal" in a world like that.

Tuesday afternoon was spent in Half-price. I found a perfect copy of The Hobbit in the clearance section for $1, so I had to pick it up. You can't go wrong with the classics, especially not one of my favorite books of all time. Lord of the Rings is a good series, but The Hobbit, for me, is where the magic is at. I must have read that book at least seven times while I was still in high school... Attached to Half-price is Cafe Calypso, and that's my usual coffee haunt. Everyone is very friendly, they have great coffee, and your first refill on the coffee of the day is half-price. After I browsed, I sat and wrote a paper journal entry, in my Moleskine, a full three pages. Which surprised me, since it's usually 1-page entries.

Since then it's been the same old, with lots of miniature painting thrown in. I've got two Kossite Woodsmen mostly done, and the Kodiak is about 90& done - just need to base him and do some of the metals. I'd love to get some more games of Warmachine in with the guys, but it's hard to schedule something like that, and I've no idea where we'd play. I've considered asking for donations so I could get some materials together and make a decent gaming table/surface. It's something that would great to have, almost necessary even, but I know that I'm going to be stuck with the bulk of the work if I volunteer. Which theoretically isn't that bad... except that I'm not going to shell out $50 by myself for materials, when I can ask the guys to throw in $10 or $15 each to cover it.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Life, the Universe, and Shit

Life is fun, especially when you're stuck in limbo. I have one and a half years - three semesters - to go before I graduate. I'll have a theatre degree, which means that I'll probably end up working some low-end retail jobs, selling cappuccinos to unhappy office workers. My family is a mess, everybody for themselves and nobody together. Dad works, and leaves early just, I think, to get away and have his peace. Mom hates working in the restaurant, but can't get away because it's impossible to find anyone who will stand all the training you need to work in a kitchen. Plus, bad hours and only decent pay to work in a hectic, non-air conditioned environment on nights and weekends and all holidays. Brother sticks to himself and immerses himself in computer games. Sister is a bitch, who riles everyone up just by being home. Screaming matches with mom, and everyone else gets upset because of the pervasive ugly mood.

I don't know what I'll do. Right now I just want to finish school and be done with it, and then find my own life. I want to help Sparky, which is difficult when I'm so far away. I've looked up various immigration requirements to Canada(and why not? It seems a nice place to live.) Unfortunately, it looks like I wouldn't make the "skilled workers" requirements unless I work for several years after graduation. Family immigration laws are just as odd; it also covers spousal and other relationship requirements. Sparky, please don't freak out that I've looked over those. *slight smile* I've even considered possibly going back to Germany for a bit, to visit family and maybe see what the theater environment is like over there. Basically, what it amounts to is that I have no idea what will happen after I graduate. All I know is that I pretty much need a huge cushion of savings if I want to do anything at all. Money makes the world go 'round. Who'd have thought? Hahahahaha. Too bad I have pretty much none, and no decent prospects either. But it helps to keep my mind off the fact that I'm basically fucked. If I don't think about it, it will all go away and fix itself, right? Right.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Free skies...

She was right, I did love that damned umbrella. At least, the way she twirled and spun it in her hands as she idly watched the passing clouds. There were days when it was a good indicator of her mood, seeing that umbrella in her hands. She was full of fiery passion, and used the umbrella to emphasize all her points. The captain got a good poke in the chest, upon trying to tell her that the voyage would take longer than expected due to crosswinds. When my dearest love had an appointment, even Heaven and Hell couldn't keep her from making it on time. The captain, ever apologetic, pushed his crew to the limits, stoked the engines, and made for Frankfurt at all haste. Somehow, we managed to keep on schedule, crosswinds be damned. And she just stood at the rail, umbrella draped on her shoulder, smiling that wicked smile of hers.

Thursday, May 15, 2008


Sometimes we're all fools. Spent ages today cleaning old junk out of the garage - consolidating items into fewer boxes, general clean-up. Found a high school yearbook, tons of old miniatures, my roleplaying books. A few hardcovers that I'd been seeking for years. (Thanks Mom, for taking the initiative and putting them in a place I'd never think to look for them.) Old letters, as well, from Breyanna and Karye. I used to have a huge crush on Karye, and didn't realize it until after she moved to Nebraska to live with her grandparents, halfway through senior year. She joined the National Guard, and we kept in touch via letter for a year or two. Last I heard, she was working in Port A, in a restaurant about 5 minute's walk from the one I work at. Never did figure out if she liked me as I liked her.

Breyanna I was with in a long-distance relationship for almost two years. Then she broke up with me in an email. That's the day I learned that it is possible to cry yourself to sleep at night.

Just occurred to me, both my relationship with Breyanna and that with Zeraphyna lasted less than two years. I met Zeraphyna in June of '06, and in December '07 I decided that not having heard from her in three months was cause enough to consider myself single again. Maybe I'm doomed to continue on a trend of less-than-two-year relationships forever. Although granted, basing that on two relationships is a bit ridiculous. So here's hoping that Sparky and I last for a much longer time. =)

Reading old letters always brings back memories, and not always good ones. Not necessarily bad either, just reminiscences that hark back to days long gone. I get the same feeling when I look through my old yearbooks. They're anchors to memories that are buried somewhere in my head, and come out when the right chain is pulled. It's good to have them, I think. There are things that shouldn't be forgotten, and little reminders can help with that.

I read in one of Brey's letters about a project she was working on - a little jewelry thing. She sent it to me, and it was an open book, done in brass. A small little thing, but I carried it around for ages, and now I wonder what ever happened to it. Maybe I'll come across it again one day.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Well now...

Not much of an update perhaps... in the time between planning to start a blog post for today, and actually getting around to it, I managed to lose about an hour to various random distractions. Curse you, internet!

I worked today, in the kitchen for the first time in ages. Dishwashing isn't so bad, except it's not just washing dishes, it's also making desserts and salads. Eh. No big deal. I just hate the stress that comes with it. Things will get hectic, Dad will curse at something, Mom will take it personally, she'll get upset, and so on. Mom takes lots and lots of things personally, and you never know when you can joke around with her and when she'll flip. This is part of why I wonder if I'm broken in the same way or not. I still have moments where little things will set me off, but I like to think that for the most part I'm pretty easy-going.

Also got to experience the wonders of sisters today. Something I didn't miss at all, honestly. My sister is a bitch, and I'm being plainspoken here. Not bending the facts, just telling it like it is. She got up this morning, and I had my phone on the table, charging. She asks whose phone it is. Well, it's mine... since I washed mine last summer, and got Mum's to use. So, I say that it's mine. She asks when I got a new phone, did the old one get stolen, why do I have that phone. Not in a nice manner. In a "I'm interrogating you and you're going to answer me" manner. Keep in mind this was literally minutes after she got up. ...part of me likes Canyon, because it's far away from her and the stress she causes the entire family.

Talked to Lacey the night before last, which was nice. ^.^ It's always good to be able to hear your significant other's voice. Now I just need to pick up a webcam, so she can see me as well. Go Skype! It makes the distance much easier to bear, when you can save on long distance and still talk to a pretty Canadian gal. ;-)

Still trying to arrange some sort of coffee thing with Zeraphyna. She's somewhat... flighty? It took me ages to figure that out, and now I just go along with it, even if it does annoy me a tad now and then. She said she still had things to tell me, before she said yes or no to coffee with me. So, whatever happens, happens, I guess. For now though, I'm going to bed and thinking wicked Sparky thoughts.