Tuesday, May 31, 2005


I just read that Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets is going to be dubbed into Gaelic and shown in Ireland on Halloween night. How fucking cool is that? I'd love to be able to get a copy of that and watch it... it's such a beautiful language.

Class started today, it'll be fun/boring. Fun because the teacher seems really cool, boring because it's government and the class is nearly two hours long.

Out of stuff to write, and I need to head to rehearsal anyways. Oh well.

Sunday, May 29, 2005

The End of all Days

See now the plague priests in their ash-grey robes. Cowled, mouths and noses covered, pale eyes examining the world. Disinterested in mortal affairs. Hear the chant and hear the dirge-pipes, leading the Damned through the Forgotten Lands, past the river Styx, into Hades and Purgatory. In silence they fill the plague carts, bodies piled like cordwood, bubules and pustules oozing even under that gentle touch. They speak not to the living, but offer comfort to the dead. Bleak winds course down city streets, now emptied of the throngs that once massed at market, stalls empty, fruit rotting where it lies. All roads now lead to the plague pits, hellish mouths in hill and field, greedily consuming and ever hungry. Doused with pitch and tar when full, they burn like the Hell the Church preaches of, flames stretching long into the night, creating roads Above and Below... And as the chants and pipes fade, whispered words drift skyward. "All Death is certain..."

Saturday, May 28, 2005

Revelations of a Personal Way

And so it occured to me, much like a lightning bolt out of a clear sky, only this case it was into my mind... well, a revelation about myself. I've heard from more than one person that I tend to have a large number of crushes, and those people have all asked "why?". To which I couldn't reply, because I don't know. I still don't. But it occurs to me while I was busy hosting, that I pursue girls that I have crushes on with my usual stubborness, only stopping when it becomes apparent that the girl in question doesn't return my interest. So far, so good. However, I have also discovered that after I stop pursuing a relationship of a romantic nature, that the crush in question tends to turn into staunch friendship of the sort that I normally only reserve for, well, very close friends. That, of course, is also tempered by how well I've come to know the person by that point... but either way, I automatically tend to take on the mantle of Friend for that person, in normal circumstances. It's an interesting look inside myself that I'd not previously thought of.

Small Seed in the Wind

I finished Good Omens yesterday, for the second time. This began a thought process, and I couldn't help but wonder if it's part of the human condition to ponder our role in the universe. We're such small, insignificant specks when you think about it. One tiny planet in the vast empty space of the galaxy, not to mention the rest of the universe around it. What's our part in life? Are we here for some higher purpose? Does God have some sort of Ultimate Plan that will determine our fate? ...Or are we really just living processors in a giant computer that is computing the answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything? I used to wonder, when I was smaller and still reading Beverly Cleary's Ramona books, if we weren't all just part of someone else's story in a book, with a higher author writing and shaping the events of our lives. Like one of those nested Russian dolls, with smaller and smaller dolls inside it. And since I know the power of words, it does all make a weird sort of sense. It's thoughts like this that make me want to accomplish and make a name for myself and be remembered for centuries to come. It comes down to nodal points at some point, those event horizons that William Gibson writes about, where everything comes together at one point and time and something is bound to happen. You just have to look for them and realize what's happening in order to actually do anything about them. And by then it's often largely too late, because you've spent the time thinking about said nodal point instead of doing something to affect it. ^_^ I'm good at that.

Monday, May 23, 2005

At the Mountains of Frustration

I am once more at the mountains of Frustration. Mom, in her infinite wisdom, because of course she knows everything better than I do, especially when dealing with computers(can you sense me rolling my eyes here, and the ice-tinged sarcasm?) has listened to the asshats at Best Buy, whose only fucking job is to sell things(!!!) and bought some spyware removal program called Spy Sweeper. I dislike it immensely, and not just because it cost $29.99 and appears to be a memory-hogging piece of crap. It uses pop-ups to tell you when it's found spyware on your computer. Isn't the whole purpose of a spyware removal program to stop the pop-ups? It also requires you, upon installation, to go online and download a newer version(!). Instead of Spy Sweeper, I could have downloaded and installed AdAware for the reasonable price of free. But that's not how Mom does things. Heaven forfend, why should she listen to someone who actually knows what he's doing? I utterly despise not being listened to and having my sound advice ignored. It is the single thing I have yet found that has the ability to drive me into a blind rage in moments. By my best reckoning, I have another month of weekends ahead of me before I can afford to build my own system. The day cannot come sooner when I can rid myself of ever having to give my parents computer advice again, and blissfully sit in front of my own machine to do whatever I wish to it.

Saturday, May 21, 2005

Wandering the Dreamscape

I dreamt and slept badly last night... again. No surprise, I suppose. The dream... I was in Merry Wives of Windsor, only it wasn't the play proper. It was more the idea of the play. I was with someone, and there was medieval dress. I was wearing a tunic that came nearly to my knees, and no pants. And the matronly woman wanted to put me into a suit of patched motley, much like one of those babie's one-piece suits you see. I said I'd rather go pantless than wear it, and then I saw someone wearing a kilt and said that I'd wear that instead. Then there was a dice game, where I skillfully cheated at the dice(they were using 12-siders), and stairs stretched far into the darkness above us, twisting every which way like in Labyrinth. Odd indeed.

Work last night was sloooooow; I got much reading done. Tonight will hopefully be somewhat busier, but preferably not busy enough to where I need to rush to get things done.

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Of God, and Other Things

I saw Kingdom of Heaven yesterday, and overall the movie was just ok. Not great, not terrible, not inspiring. Just ok. What a terrible thing to say about a movie, when you can't even form a proper opinion on it because the movie doesn't offer enough substance to create a proper opinion. The best character in the whole damn movie was David Thewlis's knight, introspective and god-fearing, yet never afraid to show a sense of humor. And he's a fucking bit part! Although the Leper King was good too... it's very hard to bring across a sense of anything while wearing a mask the entire time, but the actor portraying him did an excellent job.

Balion: "You go to certain death."
Thewlis: "All death is certain."

At the end of the movie, Balion asks Saladin what Jerusalem is worth, and he replies "Nothing. ...Everything." It amazes me sometimes, it really does, what people will do in the name of God. The Catholic Church sent how many Crusades into the Holy Land against the Muslims? 5? All in the name of God, to kill the infidels... who believed in the exact same God, only worshipped him differently. There's still fighting going on there, and probably will be for centuries to come. All because someone's beliefs are different from someone else's.

It made me think, just a bit. I'm Catholic, but haven't been to church or confession in years and years. I believe in some sort of higher being, but whether it's God or gods I don't know yet. Sometimes I think that I believe in technology more than anything. That's something that comes from reading too much William Gibson, and being so entrenched in computers and cyberspace. And why not? Technology is what drives the world these days. Heh. Someday we'll all have cybernetic implants...

Saturday, May 14, 2005

Straying from Familiar Territory

I particularly like the title of this one. I believe William Gibson has a dvd of his random ramblings that's entitled Familiar Territory, which doesn't make my title any less worthy. I haven't strayed from familiar territory much at all, but right now I'm considering the possibility. Just doing something that I've not done before, talking to someone I normally wouldn't, and so on. Like the goth girl on the bus. People like that make me wonder what their motivations are for doing the things they do. It's always when you don't have time that you wish for changes and possibilities to open up in front of you.

It's sometimes quite frustrating how a single comment in conversation can make you lose all interest in writing out your thoughts. .......I like ellipses. Hmm. I've been sending out a few emails to people I needed to email, and not getting replies is annoying. I realize that people are busy and that not everyone checks their email as much as I do. But not getting replies makes me feel like I'm tossing message bottles into the vast emptiness of cyberspace.

He pulled the blade from the scabbard, the weight reassuring in his hands as he turned the sword, looking over the steel for scratches and nicks. Found none, and slowly dragged the oiled rag over the three feet of dusky steel. The forms had come slowly today; he was out of practice. Cleaning Sorrow always put him into a meditative state of mind. It was a time to contemplate the day's events and think over tomorrow's. He poured a trickle of oil down the blade, wiped it down smoothly, working it into the metal. It was almost zen, the cleaning of weapons, especially at twilight when day turned to night and the colors all faded to grey. He polished Sorrow until she shone, gleaming with all the grace a thing made to kill others could gleam with. He sighed at the memory of the girl. Her blue eyes and her smile. It always came back to that, in the end. Always. Stumbling through life, unsure in that aspect no matter what happened. Always unsure, and uncertain. Whatever happens, happens, he told himself. As if the phrase solved anything. He emptied his mind and focused on the moment. Oil and wipe. Careful attention to the crossguard and the pommel, the bottom of the blade where it met the guard...

Friday, May 13, 2005

Schrodinger's Chat. Not so abstract.

So, Jessica and I... it's going to be interesting, I think. She's distracting me from food, dammit! But the conversation is interesting. Argh! But it's fun.

It's one situation resolved that I don't need to worry about anymore, and I like her quite a bit. The next few weeks before school starts again will be fun, and then there's the play to do. Good stuff. For now though, I should probably get ready for work and get some food before then. Otherwise I'll end up starving tonight, or at least extremely hungry. Yay.

It's funny how hearing from someone that they're not ready for a "relationship" right now can make one feel extremely good and uber-giddy. But that's how it works with me. *sighs and grins* Yeah.. I think I'm going to like this.

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Black Wings, Falling Feathers

Things are progressing. It's summer... well, almost. Midsummer's night isn't until the 23rd of June or so, by which time I'll be in the middle of Shakespeare, if I get cast of course. I'm also going to be going through American Government 1 and 2 during the summer. Yay.

Costuming was a great, great class... I learned alot, and I really do think I could do the costume designer shtick for life. There's so much one can do. The cape... I like the cape lots. It's big, and black, and swooshy, and drapes well, and makes me look like an evil, badass motherfucker when I'm wearing it.

I also ran into Jessica not once but twice today(woot!), and we exchanged numbers. And I think there's actually... no. I'm not going to ruin things by saying anything. Not a word. But I'll call her tomorrow to see if she wants to do anything. Heh. Rock on.

Life, for the moment, is good. *flexes wings and stretches, closing them with a soft snap* Hehe, life is happening, and I feel content, almost as much as I do nights when I'm the only one awake. Good deal indeed.